Just when you thought you’d seen it all, along comes a snowball.
I’m talking, of course, about the infamous snowball thrown by a fan in last week’s San Francisco-Denver game. It came flying out of the stands during a 49ers field goal attempt, landed a few feet from holder Matt Cavanaugh, and, he says, caused him to botch the snap and the play. The 49ers wound up losing by one point.
Not since Frosty has a clump of frozen mush gotten so much attention.
“We must do something about snowballs in football!” people are screaming. Of course. And here are some possibilities:
1. Play all games in Southern California. (Yes. Very good idea. Yes, yes. All the sports writers think so.) 2. Play all games in the snow. This way, one lousy snowball won’t bother anyone.
3. Keep all fans out of football games.
4. Keep all snow out of football games.
5. Play the game behind a net, like the one they use behind home plate in baseball.
6. Make all fans walk through a heat lamp.
The debate rages.
Personally, I know what should be done. Here is what should be done. The Tigers should find the kid who threw that snowball, and sign him up.
And now, the picks . . .
LIONS 20, VIKINGS 17: You expect the Lions to be shaken up. You expect them to be hurting. You expect them to lose. That is why they will win. They never do what you expect.
OILERS 16, STEELERS 13: Nobody wants to win the AFC Central.
RAMS 21, FALCONS 7: I blinked when I read this one: Dieter Brock is listed as questionable this week because of kidney stones.
EAGLES 17, CARDINALS 14: Kidney stones?
DOLPHINS 38, COLTS 20: It’s playoff-making time. Don Shula’s jaw has turned to concrete.
SAINTS 21, PACKERS 20: Bum Phillips has volunteered to go down with his ship. Bail, boys, bail!
CHARGERS 31, BRONCOS 27: Unless, of course, the snowball guy has a ticket to this one, too.
49ERS 35, CHIEFS 12: There’s no snow in San Francisco. They throw quiche.
COWBOYS 16, BEARS 14: Ditka Does Dallas, goes boom.
BROWNS 23, BILLS 13: Buffalo vs. Cleveland. A nice game to visit, but you wouldn’t want to live there.
RAIDERS 30, BENGALS 10: Back in black.
JETS 22, BUCS 16: I must say this: Tampa Bay is the best 1-9 team in football.
GIANTS 21, REDSKINS 10: Taylor-made.
SEAHAWKS 24, PATRIOTS 21: I’ll tell you how I figured this one out. First, I said the Pats had a better record, so they win. Then I said the Pats never win when they’re supposed to win, so they lose. Then I said Curt Warner was hurt, so the Pats win. Then I said big deal about Curt Warner. Pats lose. Then I called my friend in New England and he wasn’t home. So I took that as a sign. That’s how I figured this one out.
BEST PICK LAST WEEK: Bears 24, Lions 7. The Bears won, 24-3.
WORST PICK LAST WEEK: Oilers 17, Bills 6. The Bills won, 20-0.
RECORD LAST WEEK: 10-4. No snow on me.
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