THE MANUTE BOWL: ALL SEATS ARE NOSEBLEEDERS

by | Nov 21, 2008 | Detroit Free Press | 0 comments

THE LIVE ALBOM:
* It’s the season of the Bowl. There are many. There are more to come. We have a Peach Bowl, but no Canned Peach Bowl. A Fiesta, but no Siesta. A Cherry, but no Pit.

I could go on and on. And I will.

How about the Greek Salad Bowl? Rice vs. Mt. Olive State?
* The First-Name-Basis Bowl? Howard vs. William and Mary.
* Speaking of college football, you’ll need four eyes for the Michigan- Ohio State showdown Saturday. Two for the game, two for the score of Iowa-Minnesota.
* But regardless of what happens, hats off right now to Bo Schembechler for this year’s team. Even if he doesn’t pass the ball.
* The Yahoo Bowl? Eureka vs. Walla Walla.
* READY, GO! How early do college recruiters start? Michigan basketball coach Bill Frieder reportedly saw Terry Mills — his latest signee — when Mills played in the seventh grade. Many football coaches do the same. Too young? Come now. Word is already out on a hot new kid with a wicked arm and spectacular speed. Here you see him in a tux, practicing his Heisman Trophy acceptance speech.
* The Pucker Up Bowl? Oral Roberts vs. Kissimmee State.
* Tell me. Have you ever seen a quarterback step away from the line because of crowd noise and heard it get quieter?
* HURRY UP: So Steve Young is going to start for Tampa Bay against the Lions. Why? He’s got a 43-year contract. He couldn’t wait a week?
* By the way, I recently asked you for nicknames for Eric Hipple, since
“Eric” sounds more like a widget salesman than a quarterback. Some of your suggestions so far: “Swivel” Hipple; “Too Cute” Hipple, and “Horatio” Hipple.
* Horatio?
* READY, GO, II: What a joke. Gerry Cooney lies around for a few years waiting for Larry Holmes to leave, then says he’s ready to come back. And they’re going to give him a title fight against Michael Spinks? Just like that? If Spinks does it, he should be stripped of his title. No question. Cooney is gutless. The business side of boxing stinks.
* read the whole book. I bet Priscilla Presley isn’t telling the truth either.
* The Manute Bowl? In Mile High Stadium?
* SEE NO EVIL: Some people complained about ABC’s rerunning of Joe Theismann’s gruesome leg injury Monday night. Why? What happened to Theismann tells a lot more about the game of football than any fingertip catch.
* By the way, I learned a lot about Lawrence Taylor after he laid that hit on Theismann. He screamed for a doctor and was near tears. Big doesn’t always mean savage.
* So what if I picked Dallas to beat Chicago last Sunday? Big deal. So what? I admit it, OK? Jeez.
* WHO IS THIS MAN? AND CAN HE SING? Isn’t it strange that Brian Winters left basketball just about the same time Michael McDonald left the Doobie Brothers? And how come we never see them together, huh? How come? Very strange.
* The Lick The Bowl, featuring Terry Forster and William (The Refrigerator) Perry.
* No one wanted to see Terry Tyler leave the Pistons. It was hard to hear him say, “I don’t want to come back. I’m bitter.” If the first-round draft choice the Pistons got as compensation turns out to be No. 1, the weeping may ease. But it still hurts.
* Why did Kirk Gibson’s face keep popping into my mind as I wrote the above?
* IN THIS CORNER: The Thursday Night Fights at Cobo featured a “Psycho Michael” Parraz and a Willie “Mac Attack” McIntosh. If you can’t beat ’em, nickname ’em.
* Am I the only person who knows all the words to “The Jetsons” theme song?
* By the way, the No. 1 spot in women’s tennis — Chris or Martina — will be decided in the Australian Open starting next week. Just because it’s far away doesn’t mean it’s not important.
* The Indy 500 Bowl? Pace vs. Rider.
* Horatio?

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